I have a cousin who recently came out, and (luckily) it wasn’t a really dramatic thing. No one in my family is cutting this cousin off or giving them a hard time or anything. A very dull affair, really.

My question- is giving someone a coming out gift a thing? There is a small bookstore in my neighborhood I wander around a lot with a “gay/lesbian lit” section, and a few of the titles I’ve read and know to be pretty good. I’d like to get my cousin a few books from that section, but I’m not sure if a “coming out” gift is appropriate or if I should just wait until Christmas. Sorry if this is a really stupid and oblivious question!

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  1. “Coming out gifts” aren’t a thing. But “here’s a copy of this book that I think you might like” is okay pretty much whenever.

  2. I would prefer not to get any gifts.
    Mostly because I don’t think it’s a thing and shouldn’t be. There’s nothing to celebrate really.

  3. For some people it’s a huge deal. For me it just kind of happened on a Tuesday

    “Hey mom I think I like dudes”
    “Well that’s totally fine too, just make sure he’s a quality man and not a boy pretending to be a man. Chicken or fish tonight?”
    “We had chicken for lunch. Fish tacos?”
    “Great be home by 7 and tell your brother to pick up some taco shells”

    I would’ve been mortified to get any sort of gift. For some people it’s a huge, lifechanging, defining moment in their life. All depends on the situation. If someone needs a pick-me-up or encouragement or support, some books or a card or a Sbux gift card and an invite for a coffee date might be good too

  4. Gifts are welcome at anytime. I’d be stoked if someone got me a coming out gift! I say do it! Even if it isn’t a thing. So nice of you to ask what a good cousin you are x

  5. I think coming out gifts are only things for people and family who do gifts for odd little accomplishments. Like if you have a family who gives gifts spontaneously it’s fine if you only do it in Christmas and birthdays do you really want to make it such a big deal.

    That said I think a small gift is really ok, as an I’m here for you thought from the right person. I would have loved that from anyone who I may have felt I was hiding and distancing myself from.

    Just do what you think it right.

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