I’ve been married about one year. Before I got married I had slight bicurious feelings but never acted upon them. I’ve only ever slept with women. I did some experimenting with anal beads, butt plugs and a dildo, which I definitely enjoyed. Lately I’ve found myself masturbating to more gay, transgender, pegging and sissy porn. I fantasize about fucking and also getting fucked. My wife and I have watched straight porn together but nothing too kinky or non-hetero. I’d love to get her involved, buy a strap on and let her bang me but I don’t think she’d be receptive to this kink of mine. She’s not very dominant (occasional spanking) but I’d like her to tie me down, gag my mouth and fuck my ass. Any advice about these feelings or how to broach this subject with my wife ???

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  1. In every marriage, there is a chance that people have made a mistake. In your case, I’m hoping you can get to a point where it does not feel like mistake and you don’t regret it.

    I think you need to do a few things for yourself, and for her over the next year.

    For her, you’re the one online asking questions and trying to bring some new ideas into your sex life. That already puts you in the lead when it comes to variety and exploration. Teach her, especially about creativity and initiative. Flat out tell her that you like it when she takes charge and give her every possible encouragement when she does things to you of her own intitiative. You need to help her find her inner assertive top where she’s telling you what to do next and making it happen.

    This can start real small. “Hey would you give me a back rub or maybe play with my feet. You decide… “ The key thing in there is she starts making choices about what happens to you next, and then you both have a fun time. If she can do that, it’s leading her on a path when six months or a year from now she is regularly taking charge of what she wants, and sometimes that can be you she’s taking charge of.

    First, I’m guessing you would really enjoy that attitude if she stepped up sometimes and ran the show. Second it’s going to give her the decision-making skills to actually deal with your kinkier ideas, and the mindset to make it happen if she’s into it.

    LOTS of young guys have performance anxiety the first time they’re called on to fuck someone. It takes relaxation and self confidence, and probably most guys need to get used to the idea before they’re good at fucking. It’s almost a cliche about growing up as a guy.

    If guys get performance anxiety (and we’re built for it!!) imagine what she’s going to feel the first time she harnesses up with a strap-on. It’s a total mindfuck. If it’s ever going to be within her reach to give you a solid, deep, long, awesome satisfying fuck, you need to start with the small stuff: her everyday sexual self-confidence and drive. So take your time, start with something else, and see what she can do.

    Next thing, for you: get into that bi side and enjoy it.

    Anything you imagine doing with a guy will never replace anything you truly enjoy doing with a woman. So enjoy surfing for hard dicks and hungry holes and enjoy everything you think is sexy about a guy. The fact that you notice it and like it will not change how much you notice women and it does not stop you from being loyal to her or living up to your vows.

    Good luck and have fun!

  2. Have the “Let’s spice up our sex life talk”.

    Think of ways she could benefit from the dominant role of sex and use those points to convince her.

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