So I have this very good friend of mine (straight, I think) lets call him James for the time being.
I have a situation and I believe some of you could provide some valuable insight.


James is 2 years younger than me and I sometimes help him and a couple of his friends with their homework (I have very good grades and love biology, so…) I became very close to this group of people thanks to frequent study sessions. You could say I became a part of the group.

The group often praises me. They say I am the perfect man and that I’m a god for always helping them. They even mentioned that they would start a religion to worship me. They call me handsome all the time (to be fair, I am also attractive). I understand that it’s all fun and games.

However, James always says “I love you” , “You are too perfect” and he always uses heart emojis while texting. He even wishes me good night frequently and calls me “babe”, “daddy” and such. I began to have my suspicions about James.

Last month, James went through a breakup. He was devastated. He trusts me a lot and asked me for advice. While we were texting, he confessed that he cried in the shower a few times and I was surprised about how much he trusts me.

After this convo we met irl for some school stuff and we talked about the subject. I noticed something was…different? I don’t know how to explain it but in addition to the usual praise (it’s getting a bit annoying to be honest) and babe/love-talking, he kept stealing glances at me. Also, for some reason he couldn’t mantain eye-contact with me. His trusted friend. It was odd.

Last week James began texting me about someone he met. However, I felt that the texts were a little weird. He kept asking for advice from his “daddy” and I kinda laughed it off.

I feel that, in spite of my greatest efforts, I’ve developed a little crush on James and it bothers me when he asks me for relationship advice. And it also bothers me that I can’t tell him that I like him 🙁

A *very* close friend of mine (calls me babe and praises me a lot) had a breakup, we met irl and he kept stealing glances at me and couldn’t keep eye-contact. He recently started talking to some girl and keeps asking me for relationship advice.

So…now that you have the context of my particular situation, I have three questions.

1- What should I do? Should I tell him to quit asking me for advice? Should I confess? Should I avoid him?

2- Do you think he is gay?

3- Why can’t he mantain eye-contact with me?

I would love to hear your honest opinions and advice. Even if they’re mean…



  1. Sounds like you’re still in high school?
    Either way, here’s what I’d do…
    Reciprocate all the trust he placed in you. Meet him again in real life in private to give him honest relationship advice. Then ask him if he’s gay. If you keep the conversation all about him, he’ll be more likely to open up.
    Then if he’s actually gay, you’ve got potential!
    If he’s not gay, no harm no foul because you still gave him relationship advice.

  2. It’s hard to maintain eye contact when you’re talking about emotional things sometimes. My husband has a group of friends with a papa bear/ daddy figure, but he’s straight. I think you’re reading things into the playfulness and I doubt that it’s flirting. The only way to know for sure is to ask him yourself, but you risk making your friendship weird and ruining it if he doesn’t feel the things you’re suspecting.

  3. Does he know you are gay? If so, then try and lead the conversation to ask him if he thinks he is gay or bi and re assure him that all is confidential and that you will remain friends. If he says he thinks he is gay, then ask him how he came to think that. He might mention you or he might not. Just try and take it easy and remain objective about helping him figure out his feelings.

    If he says he likes you, you’ve got your in.

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