I’ve met a guy early February who is amazing. We click in so many ways and in the beginning regularly would hang out and cuddle, occasionally more as if we’d know each other a long time. Maybe it got weird.

He mentioned when first talking online he had an ex of not too long ago. I figured maybe a few months since he’s out and looking. Apparently this major breakup of several years happened in February. We agreed on Friends (with unspoken benefits) early on.

For most of February we regularly saw one another and even went a few places you’d consider dates, but we didn’t make anything of it beyond having fun.

Have been through a similar major breakup before, it took me almost a year before actually dating anyone again. He’s mentioned he’s talking to other people and has some friends he wants to sleep with while he’s single.

I thought I’d be fine. I was like, sure. I don’t think I’ve met anyone I’ve clicked so well in am interest level, I really want my shot whenever he’s emotionally available.

I can’t really deal. Since the last week of February we’ve gone from texting night and day to… Well, I’m lucky to get a response to a single text at this point. I’ve invited him, even for brief outings. The invites either get totally ignored or declined.

I haven’t seen him in almost 3 weeks. I’m tearing myself apart thinking I’ve done something wrong or that he’s simply no longer interested or has found someone more interesting.

Tonight I got my 4 denial in the last 3 weeks. Even something as casual as Netflix and chill.

I keep telling myself, maybe he’s just been busy…

I’ve definitely caught feels. I’m not sure what I should do. Do I just only respond when he sends me a message? (As he does still sparsley send messages) Should I just wait? Ever guy I’ve seen since I’ve compared to him. I could handle friends with benefits, but I can’t hide the way I look at him, I’m worried he thinks I can’t hang and is distancing me.

The thing I can’t handle is there idea of talking to him one day to find he’s dating someone else (Exculsively). I’d be devastated.

I’ve been tearing myself down during this almost radio silence. Help.

Edit: If it matters, we’re both late 20s / early 30s working adults with full time jobs.


  1. Quit. Stop initiating communication and invites. His behavior is speaking louder than words and you need to listen to that. It sounds like you already know this, so just trust your instincts and let it go for now.

  2. Honestly, you gotta know when to quit. As much as it might suck, the whole situation seems to call for it. I used to get together with a guy who liked pretty much all the same things as me, which is difficult because I like weird and obscure things. However, the contact just wasn’t there. So, I needed to let it go. Granted, I’ll likely never meet someone again who’s as into S Club 7 as I am. But I had to move on.

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