i love him sooo much and he loves me so much as well.
WALL OF TEXT IM SORRY BUT IF YOU CAN READ AND HELP ME I WILL BE SUPER APPRECIATIVE!
BACKSTORY: we met during a 3some. before this 3some i was a horny fuck machine ,dick will get erected from the simplest things and i loved sex. i had a lot of sex before and the bottom always seemed to enjoy themselves and compliment and such, i was an escort top at some point in my life and the clients came back for more a lot and this was without a cock ring on so i guess my dick was doing its job just fine (i didnt know what one was till years later).
Now (we all are vers while one was more of a bottom) during the 3some his dick and ass are just a lot bigger than mines, especially his dick, it made me feel like why was i there to begin with, these two dont need me. i was called big by a lot of guys but scientifically it doesnt make sense and it makes me feel like im being told this from all these guys cause they can sense my insecurity and just trying to be nice (i never told anyone my insecurity so im just guessing). im 7-7.5 in length and 4.8 girth but 5.2 girth with a cock ring on (big difference i know) anyway when i fucked the bottom (without the cock ring on) he moaned despite having the bigger guys dick in his mouth at the same time and came out his ass but when my now bf fucked him, he was a lot more dramatic but the bottom told me its cause it hurt as well which is why he was more dramatic and vocal and he didnt cream and cum out his ass with the bigger guy. this made me feel relief but at the same time i cant tell if he said this to make me feel better or was being genuine (we were in a triad relationship so sparing my feelings felt like a possibility).
this experience when i say killed my ego so bad to a point where my mind altered dramatically in so many ways. i dont get horny and super hard anymore (if i do it took a lot of effort) and i just feel so shitty and inferior compared to him and im actually kinda scared for sex due to erectile dysfunction episodes that occurred sometimes ever since the 3some. he has a BIGGER dick (longer and def thicker) an ass he cant hide, a huge delicious looking bulge. a bit taller than me with nice and smooth size 9 feet and a awesome beard, clear skin with a crazy combo of sexy and adorable to him. im shorter with size 8 callused small toed feet with pimples ,acne scars and freckles on my face. my ass is fat but nothing like his which is just massive. he is thicc all over , even tho it seems im stronger than him since we at the gym (im always able to lift heavier and do more reps and such than he can, im overall just more fit than him from what i noticed) but looks wise he looks more superior than me and ESPECIALLY during sex since he is bigger in the ass and dick region and he is a total freak as well. sex wise i feel like i will be pushed aside all the time cause he is just better equipped for sexual reasons which makes me feel terrible and inferior to him.
im able to make him cream and cum from his ass all the time to the point he nicknamed my dick coffee-mate (lol) when i top him but i always have a cock ring on cause it makes me thicker but also cause the orgasm and sex feels more intense due to my penis being more sensitive with it on (i just love wearing them ,the size increase is just a huge plus
) but i always feel like shit compared to him. he wore my sweats one day and his ass and bulge were just out there looking great with his body. in these same sweats my bulge doesnt exist or its little and my ass is noticeable but not in your face like his. he says my dick is thick with and without the cockring on but i feel like he is lying just to make me feel better cause statistically and scientifically its not true (or at least i dont think it is) and he told me he got fucked by bigger and smaller dicks before he met me so i should believe what he says.
idk what to do guys, he feels like shit knowing i feel this way about him,that i feel inferior towards him.i love him so much and he loves me and thinks im hot and everything. he says my dick is perfect not to big to cause harm and problems but big and thick enough to still feel great when getting fucked (i always have a cock ring on though). but i still feel like shit and dont know how to love and accept myself and to be ok that i have a little to no bulge and that my body just isnt as thicc and doesnt fill out cloths like his does. what do i do guys? how can i fix this so i dont ruin something so amazing cause of my insecurities?
PS: he says he never got pleasure from any dick bigger and fatter to smaller and thinner and that it just felt like pressure of something is playing around inside him. but with me he loves getting fucked now and creams all the time to the point where he is mainly to bottom in the relationship even though we are both vers.
TLDR: bf is just bigger and sexier from body ,to dick size to ass size and i just feel so inferior to him when he says i shouldnt at all. its hard to though since gays are so vocal on huge asses and monster sized dicks and his amazing body is in my face all the time. how do i get over this envy and love myself and be ok?