My best friend of seven years and I (both 20) have discussed our curiousities before but nothing like a few night ago. We drunkenly video chatted and began talking about fashion which led to facial hair, comparing bodies then about how we see each other physically.
He started talking about how he likes my body and face and me and our friend are the type of guy that he would want to get intimate with if he would. He then told a story about a moment that he had with that friend where they were watching a movie, sharing a blanket, and giggling with each other in his basement. Once they made eye contact he realized he wanted to kiss him and see where it went, but never did. Soon after in the conversation he said he wanted to lean in and kiss me because of the way I was looking when we were getting coffee the night before! (This isn’t too far out of the realm of things he’s said before with others)
Bu tonight he bought some clothes that fit his form more than usually and snapped me pics and videos showing off how he looked, which was nothing like him. Something just clicked, and just like that I had my first physical/sexual feelings towards a guy.
This is such an indescribable feeling! I’ve always been open to trying but never have actually desired kiss a guy before and now I cant stop thinking about how anything would feel with him.
While I’m not looking for any advice for the *immediate* future, if I were to ask for your personal guidance to pursue this, what would you say? I think he secretly wants to try too, and think it would be a healthy worthwhile experience for both of us.
P.S. On an honest downer note, I do have a bad habit of being overbearingly sexual and develop a sort of compulsion for sex in relationships, and even mistaking these feelings for love. This has ended up playing a major factor in breakups. This is a recent revelation after a long reflection on past relationships and I’m determined to become the partner I know I am. He’s heard my thoughts on this whole thing but it’s something I want to lay down here because if this happens to develop, he’s my best friend and I don’t want that to change 🙂