I’m just posting to ask if it is okay to say “Sir” like “Yes, Sir” or “Thank you, Sir” to a gay male. I just want to hear and understand any gay male’s thoughts on this matter. Would it bother you? Would be fine with it being said to you?

23 COMMENTS

  1. What’s the context? Like if your working in the service industry I would use “Sir” to talk to any male, regardless of sexual orientation.i wouldn’t just use it with friends or if I was on a date though… there’s certain times and places to refer to people as sir, use it as you see fit haha

  2. In the military I get called sir a lot and I hate it, but the other day a really cute guy said “yes sir” and I didn’t hate it so much… I do not like mister though

  3. ??? Is sir a slur for gay men that I haven’t heard before? I was unaware of any association between sir and gays lol. The only time I’ve heard people object to being called sor is because they don’t wanna be seen as old.

  4. I only ever hear ‘Sir’ when it’s followed by ‘you’re making a scene’ or when there is a speeding ticket involved. It’s not widely used in Australia once you leave school.

  5. I used to, and way too many guys thought I was propositioning them as a sub, which lead to awkward interactions.

  6. I prefer calling a guy “sir” over “Daddy”. A) I actually call my father Daddy and B) it reminds me of being in high school.
    But I also use “sir” when talking to any older man. Just respectful you know

  7. I just call everyone mister or missus. I use sir for those I respect. And I work retail, i only used sir twice in the past 3 years.

  8. Worst case scenario, it weirds me out a little.

    Contexts where it’s not weird:
    Professional settings
    Customer service
    I’m clearly the same age as/older than someone and they’re trying to be respectful

    Contexts where it’s weird:
    Casual conversation, specifically between two equals, or when I’m clearly younger. Especially when the tone of the conversation to this point did not establish that “sir” would be the way to address somebody.

  9. I spent about 10 years in the hospitality industry so I still use sir and ma’am on a daily basis. It’s just so ingrained I guess.

  10. Maybe if you are talking to a client or a teacher / professor? Or you don’t know their name. Otherwise it’s kinda random, unless you do it in a sarcastic way, like I call a coworker ma’am when I play at being annoyed by her. I will thank my employees sometimes by saying ma’am or sir in chat, but it’s in a very informal way, Has nothing to do with their orientation.

  11. I’ve been called Sir in normal settings before. Like if a stranger in public is trying to get my attention. But it does have a slightly different connotation for me because of BDSM hahaha

  12. I’m confused at some of these responses. OP stated he’s in a work situation dealing with people he doesn’t know.

    When you’re dealing with a complete stranger, what other pronouns could you possibly use beyond sir or ma’am when you don’t know their name or haven’t established that level of familiarity?

    Specific example: you’re at a checkout counter at a grocery store and the customer is walking away. You realize they’ve forgotten something and you need to get their attention. What do you say beyond “excuse me, Sir/Ma’am”?

  13. I think it’s ok,out of respect for a person u look up to,gay or straight it’s just a way to honor that person w/ respect.
    Military
    Father
    Elderly
    Teacher
    Boss.. etc. Also depends on your upbringing too.

  14. As a Canadian, I was raised that it isn’t really correct or appropriate to call someone “sir,” unless they are actually titled “Sir” because the Queen knighted them, or the were some kind of aristocrat. I remember hearing it on US tv when I was a kid and asking my parents about it only to be told “We don’t do that here.”

    Anyway it’s not really normal to hear in Canada, at least out west, though it does happen once in a while. It makes me a bit uncomfortable. It was just really funny to hear when some 17 year old kid called me “Sir” when I was 23 and out shopping for something. And since then, I don’t really like it because it sounds like it’s going beyond “polite” into “weirdly grovelling.”

    We really don’t like that “Customer is always right, when-I-say-jump-you-say-how-hi” bullshit in Canada. The Australians are super informal about everything. Nobody called me “Sir” there, more like “How ya goin’, mate”. Canadians are a bit more formal but it’s the same idea. We just enjoy store service that is friendly and polite, not like “I am your humble servant, My Lord! I live to serve you!’

    I guess in the gay world it doesn’t sound out of place. I have a couple of friends who are pretty obviously into some kind of leather fetish/kink stuff, and if I ran into a couple of them out at a club then it might make sense to hear them talking that way to each other.

  15. I mean we’re still men, I don’t know why you wouldn’t address a gay man differently if you were trying to be respectful

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