hey everybody. i apologize if im invading your space it is not my intent so if i am just ignore and no harm no foul.

my ex and i broke up this time last year after 3 years of dating but remained friends. back in july i found his old phone boxed up from when i moved (we used to live together) and i went thru it not expecting to find much. what i found were texts and tabs in his browser still open which showed a variety of types of porn including gay and even gay hookup profiles of his. needless to say i was shocked bc weve had discussions about gay men before and he would always say its wrong or whatever and it would make me upset bc i dont believe that myself. i even confessed to him while we were dating that i still want to explore my own sexuality bc im attracted to so many dif people and he said he was okay with that. the texts and profiles clearly stated that hes had sex with some of the guys and some of the profiles went back to before we got together. we recently started seeing each other again and he says he wants to get back together. i feel bad that i know this big secret about him that he didnt share with me himself bc i understand he might be scared or confused or both. but i obviously dont like that hes lying to me about who he is. should i tell him i know? itll be an awkward conversation for sure and i dont want him to feel like im attacking him. but i also want the truth.

thanks in advance.


  1. Give him back his phone and start the conversation with “So… I invaded your privacy and looked at stuff in here.” See how that goes for you.

    He’s lying and you’re invading his privacy. There is no way that this makes for a healthy relationship.

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