Im looking for a same sex hook up. Ive matched with plenty of guys on tinder, and have had a few conversations with some, but by the point we get to talking about what we want, they seem a lot less interested. Should i be using grindr, or maybe another app? Any suggestions to avoid wasting my time (and theirs)?


  1. So, first of all, here’s the thing: There is no way to meet guys for sex that doesn’t also necessarily entail wasting time.

    **Wasting time is inevitable.**

    So you should just accept that, and go into this process knowing that time will be wasted.

    That being said, there are many different ways to meet guys for sex, and to meet guys for dating, and to meeting guys for sex and dating.

    Grindr is mostly use for sex, you *can* sometimes meet people to date there, but most people are using that app for sex.

    Tinder and OKCupid are mostly use for dating, you *can* sometimes meet people there for sex, but most people use those apps for dating.

    In the middle are apps like Scruff, which guys use for dating, hooking up, and chatting in roughly equal measure.

    If you are looking for sex, Grindr and Scruff are the better choices. People will be more cagey, evasive, rude and “discreet” on Grindr, meaning they are less apt to show their faces and more likely to block you, whereas on Scruff people are more likely to engage with you in a conversation and share more details about who they are and what they want. Grindr also has more younger guys and Scruff has a broader range of ages of its users. You should experiment with both apps to figure out which fits your needs better. I personally prefer Scruff because people tend to treat each other in a more civilized manner there.

    If you are looking for sex, say that. Be upfront but courteous. Expect that a lot of guys won’t be looking for sex at the exact moment you are feeling horny and vice-versa. Some guys will be looking to play right now, some guys will only be available to play at some later pre-arranged moment in time.

    Be prepared and flexible. You’re going to get a lot more opportunities to have sex if you can *either* host *or* travel, if you can either *top* or *bottom*, etc. The more narrow and specific your requirements, the harder it will be to find someone who can meet them. Be ready to play now and be willing to play later.

    Finally: explore other venues for sex. Bars and clubs are still good places to meet guys. Saunas/bathhouses and sex clubs are still good places to meet guys *for sex* but not every city has them. You can also meet new potential sex partners by expanding your gay social circle, making gay friends and joining gay social groups.

  2. If you are only looking for sex, then tinder isn’t the best option. Still, the best strategy in my experience is to ask whomever you match with to go out for a drink after a day or two. Somewhere casual. It usually has a good potential to end up with sex. But if you aren’t interested in a relationship, be upfront about it when you meet. Say they you arn’t ready for something very serious.

  3. Apps and online hookups is like 92% time wasting. Tehre’s a bunch of fakes and flakes. If you try a plenty, a few will go through. Goign to bars/club is like give you like a higher yield than apps. and 100% yield is to hire an escort.

    The point is, you either choose to use your time or your money.

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