Buy the single on iTunes! https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/unicorn-wizard-single/id563540432

Ninja Sex Party is back for their most mind-explodingly great adventure ever! Sorry if this video is too amazing for you.

Written, Performed, and Musically Composed by Ninja Sex Party
Animations by OneyNG and PsychicPebbles
Directed by Jim Turner
Assistant Directed by Annie Quick

Featuring Lauren Francesca, Montana Marks, and Samantha Maurice as Bikini Girls 1, 2, and 3, respectively
Dan Hodapp as Roger Rogerson
Kristen Acimovic as Robbery Victim
Jerry as The Mugger Who Gets Hurt by Ninja Brian
Mookie Thompson and Zack Evans as the Pair of Muggers Who Get Helped By Ninja Brian
Branden Lam as That Japanese Guy
Rachel Bitney Wecht as Danny’s Mom

Special Thanks to Ninja Brian for not murdering everyone during the making of this video

Lyrics:

Sometimes I wish I was even more awesome than I already am.
What would my life be like if I turned this shit up to eleven (out of a possible five)?

Ninja Brian, hand me my cloak. And my staff. And my horn. And that thermos of soup. I’m hungry but also thirsty, and you can kind of like eat and drink soup at the same time. Let’s go!

Riding straight out of your imagination
Using my magic to fight against crime
Destroying evil with powers most awesome
Protecting the weak almost all of the time.
But not Sundays — Game of Thrones is on!

Now is the time for a man of conviction
The world needs a hero, and I am that guy

Girl: Look! Who is that masked man?
UW: That’s Ninja Brian, but shut up about him. Let’s focus on me, because…

I am the Unicorn Wizard
Riding for justice on a comet of stars
With the help of my sidekick Princess Handjob
I’m more awesome and smarter than I already are

I am the Unicorn Wizard
My spells are amazing, and my reflexes quick
My horn is my strength and my strength is my power
And my power is my horn and my horn is my dick.

Here’s your opportunity to stop listening if this song got too amazing for you. No? OK.

My life is a party, the guests are supermodels
Operation: I Rule is a total success
Every day I invent a new form of karate
That changes the way that Japan views the West

Now’s that’s progress! Doitashi Mashitay! (subtitle: You’re welcome.)

Then we retire to the Chamber of Passion
And bathe in pool of strawberries and cream
The strawberries rub and exfoliate gently
The cream travels places you can’t even dream

Girl: Ugh, I think I just dreamed it.
Danny: How was it? Amazing?
Girl: Uhh..
Danny: You mean Uhh…stounding? Yeah. You do.

I am the Unicorn Wizard
Just like Danny Sexbang, I’m handsome and strong
With the help of my hellhounds Tinkles and Gary
We punish the wicked then break into song

I am the Unicorn Wizard
A superhero for the entire human race
My wand casts a spell that will unlock the door
And the wand is my junk and the door is your face

Mom: Danny, Danny, wake up!
Danny: Oh hey mom. I had the craziest dream! I was the unicorn wizard.
Mom: Awww, shut up.
Danny: Unicorn Wizard!
Mom: I said shut up.
Danny: You shut up.

48 COMMENTS

  1. Couldn't find your comment to reply so I'm here. Do your research instead on the birth rate statistics in America and China. Time to wake up and get educated instead of posting these retarded videos.

  2. No one tlked about Chris (oney) and zach (psychic pebbles) in the comments.
    Was this song released before they were well known funni boys?

  3. Coworker sees this playing on screen
    them: What uh… what the fuck are you watching?
    me: Ninja Sex Party – Unicorn Wizard.
    them: …

  4. Oh, Danny… I don't think you could have fucked up the pronunciation of γ€Œγ©γ„γŸγ—γΎγ—γ¦γ€ or "doitashimashite" any more than you did in this video. You also spelled it wrong… it's correctly γ€Œγ©γ†γ„γŸγ—γΎγ—γ¦γ€ or "dōitashimashite." Subtle difference, but that's the correct spelling. The correct pronunciation is "DOH-ee-tah-she-mah-she-tay" (except the last two syllables should be more like "shtay"). You said "DOY-tah-she-mush-tay"… you have a ninja at the ready, couldn't you have just asked him? He's a fucking NINJA, Danny.

  5. How did I even stumble upon this band in the first place?
    Don't get me wrong, they're fucking awesome, but how did I find them

  6. There was once a time when Ego, John, and NSP all had their own channels, and they were all weird, honest, and great – Then for one really brief glorious moment they all collided… then shit went south, got weird, and fell apart in a burning pile of poop, not a fan of what Ego and NSP have turned into, but the good ole days are still nice to visit

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