Stigma dick in your ass lol

17 COMMENTS

  1. I’ve been thinking a lot about this and I truly believe it is a very complex topic. I think there are a lot of things at play here. Natural instinct, social conditioning, culture, religion and good ‘ole basic psychology. I could write out all my theories but it would have to be over multiple responses because I don’t have all this info just sitting in a back burner in my head read to whip out, so it will be a bit in order for me to collect and gather all my thoughts to truly present why I think discrimination/social stigma exists.

    Right off the bat, I believe many people perceive a gay man as submissive and this is not what a “man” is supposed to be. All societies across the world have an idea of what a man is supposed to be and pretty much everywhere men are suppose to be somewhat aggressive, in charge, man of the house, confident, combative etc etc. And these are all traits associated with masculinity. And people fore the most part are really attracted to a man who is masculine.

    And because a gay man may not be these things (rather people are actually running off the idea that all gay people have a flamboyant/feminine personality), being gay is pretty threating to many people.

    I am a man therefore I should act a certain way.

    My family has men and they expect me to act and behave a certain way and because they are men I expect them to act a certain way.

    I am friends with men, and I expect them to act a certain way.

    But being gay challenges these values – rather aggressively ironically.

    Submitting to another man is a sign of weakness. Such that in fighting and in sports. Men are not to be weak. So men strive to win.

    The same applies sexually. When you are with another person sexually, you are “giving yourself” to this person. In a straight encounter, this is fine. Because even though a man is giving himself to a woman, he is still not submissive to that woman. But a woman is submissive to the man.

    If a man were to submit himself to another man, then a confusing power dynamic comes into play. This is the idea of men bottoming “not being real men” or “taking the feminine role” or why some people always joke about gay sex always referring to the bottom. Ever notice that?

    “Oh if he likes to take it up the ass let him”

    So men having sex with men challenges those rules in a negative way. And some men will feel a reflection of themselves when too men are kissing/intimate etc. This would explain a lot of internalized homophobia. They hate what they see because it challenges who they are. That will culture and religion and what ever external forces telling them that being gay is wrong.

    And I am sure there is much more. Reply if you want to continue this conversation as I am sure this can get very in depth.

  2. TIL that r/askgaymen is much chiller than r/lgbt, was expecting a permaban faster than you can say “no homo”

  3. I realize this was a joke; however, it’s a good question. I agree specifically with u/Sarpool’s comments:

    > I am a man therefore I should act a certain way.
    >
    >My family has men and they expect me to act and behave a certain way and because they are men I expect them to act a certain way.
    >
    >I am friends with men, and I expect them to act a certain way.

    I believe the core of this is the concept of conformity, rooted in tribalism–a fundamental part of our makeup. There have been entire books written on the subject, but there was a great statement made in a Psychology Today article:

    *A sense of Belonging is a cornerstone of “The Four B’s” (including Being, Believing and Benevolence), the criteria we use to evaluate the quality of our lives.*

    *Belonging is the extent to which we feel appreciated, respected and cared for as a member of a group of close people. These groups vary widely and might comprise family, friends, colleagues, teammates, coworkers, congregationalists or platoons. When we belong in these groups,* ***we share values, rituals and attitudes****, we experience feelings of warmth and welcome, and our lives are enriched. (*[*https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/our-emotional-footprint/201802/belonging-is-our-blessing-tribalism-is-our-burden*](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/our-emotional-footprint/201802/belonging-is-our-blessing-tribalism-is-our-burden)*)*

    We as homosexuals don’t share the same values, rituals and attitudes about something so fundamental as sexual orientation, so we’re automatically excluded by “tribes” that don’t make a conscious effort to include us. Of course, the reverse applies as well. There are certainly homosexual “tribes” that intentionally exclude well-meaning heterosexuals.

  4. They discriminate because they are ignorant and from ignorance comes fear. They reject something they don’t understand yet don’t have the will or interest to grab a book or ask their fellow gay neighbor what is it about being gay, however they do have an extreme interest when it comes to fight against our right as humans. How can they fight against something they don’t even dare to look in the eyes?

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    Maybe they are too scared of understanding what does it feel to live with these negative attitudes from people that increase our chance of experiencing violence or behaviors such as bullying, teasing, harassment, physical assault, or suicide.

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    I’m a bisexual man, but that doesn’t mean I want to be a girl, and even if I wanted to, there would be nothing wrong with it. I sleep with men, but that doesn’t mean I dress like a woman or that I do drag; that I have AIDS or that I’m mentally disabled; I’m a queer man but that doesn’t mean I’m less than any other man or that my masculinity is downgraded.

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    I’m a bisexual man and I deserve as much as other men to have an opportunity to live my life without being at risk of getting murdered or assaulted (I recently got assaulted for being gay, check my latest post) just because I held hands with another man.

  5. Society likes to demonise a sector of people for political reasons… Same way the nazis blamed the Jews, russia blames the gays…. And America does that with gays and Mexicans… Its all politics.

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